Before The Storm

I wrote Life Lessons before things got really dark – before I used the word crisis or admitted to anyone how much I was struggling. At the time, it just felt like reflection… a soft moment of piecing myself back together.

But now, looking back, I see it was a quiet warning. A softer ache before everything came crashing through.

This wasn’t a scream – it was a whisper. A sign that the pain was already there, waiting to surface.

I’m sharing it now because not everything I write is heavy or loud. Sometimes the most honest truths are tucked inside the softer pieces.

“Life Lessons”
Back at the start again
How did I get back here
Searching for myself in men again
Another bed to crawl out of
Another man to ask to leave
A life lesson I did not want
Learning to love myself again
Piecing myself back together

Where do you start when you know your worth
But don’t feel worthy
When you keep the people you love at a distance
Because if they knew what was in your mind it would scare them
The want for a man to fix me
The pressure to find love before it’s too late

Life continuing to throw lessons my way
Lessons I did not ask for
For so long I’ve walked this road alone
So independent yet so lonely
I tell myself I don’t need anyone
Because being alone means no hurt

To keep my walls up means they won’t see
See me, for what’s inside
Sad, lonely, afraid
These things that I hide
The lessons I continue to face
So many questions I just wish I could erase.

Why me? When is it my turn?
Who am I? Where do I go from here?
Back to the start I go.
The route to all the answers
Loving myself
Accepting who I am

I want to learn from my mistakes
No more beds to crawl out of
Or men who don’t see my worth
Because if I listen to the lessons life throws my way
If I follow this path
Maybe just maybe I will find what I’m looking for
I will find me

–K