They Always Leave

This is another poem from the vault.

Here’s a little backstory on this poem.

I have dated a lot of men over the last few years. Some just a few dates, some just a hookup, and some have turned into short term relationships.

These men will often tell me,

“I value you.”
“You’re amazing and deserve love, but it can’t be me.”
“You’re incredible, but I’m not ready for a relationship.”

Each time it didn’t work out, I dusted myself off, told myself it wasn’t me, and kept trying. Believing maybe the next one would finally see me — really see me — and stay.

But with every failed date, every silent fade, I cracked a little more.
Somewhere along the way, I started putting my worth in whether or not someone stayed. In whether or not they wanted me back. Even if I didn’t want them.

Now, every guy that walks out feels like confirmation:
You’re not the one they stay for.

They see the light and call it grace,
But never stay to know the face.
They take my love, then close the door—
Say, “You deserve so much more.”

I keep hoping if just one stayed, all the heartbreak would finally feel worth it — like I’d proved love is possible if someone sticks around long enough to see all of me.

This poem is for every man who didn’t.

They Always Leave

They always leave when I let them close,
Right when I need them the very most.
They kiss my skin, then pull away,
Promise forever, then drift the next day.

They say I’m special, one of a kind,
But still I’m the one they leave behind.
Like I was home, but just for now—
A resting place before somehow.

I give them warmth, a soft reprieve,
And every single time—they leave.
They swear it’s not me, it’s what they lack,
But I’m the one who can’t bounce back.

If I’m so much, then why not stay?
Why do they keep walking away?
Is my love too deep, too loud, too true?
Or just too easy to undo?

I’ve been the break in all their pain,
The steady one in all their rain.
But I am tired of being the spark
That fades as soon as it gets dark.

They always leave—I don’t know why.
No fight, no reason, just goodbye.
Like I’m a chapter they outgrew,
A place they visit but never knew.

So here I sit with empty hands,
Still trying hard to understand
How I’m the one they all like
But never the one they stay to love.

–K